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Q: My son is engaged to be married soon. What's a piece of "go-to" advice that you would give him and his fiancée for building a solid relationship?

Jim: I could think of all sorts of ways to answer, but I'd start by asking them both this question: How many times have you faced a problem and looked for the easiest way out? That's what many of us do. But the easiest course isn't always the best one.

When we encounter challenges, how we respond matters more than we think. Responding well not only makes it more likely that the problem itself will get resolved, it also prepares us to better handle future crises. That's because a healthy response to a serious issue bolsters our character and further matures us as individuals -- and, in marriage, as a couple.

For example, consider an uncomfortable marital crisis. Some couples don't handle conflict well. They act petty, insult each other or behave with a harsh, critical attitude that makes their problems worse. It's like trying to clean up a spill with an oily rag. The whole mess gets worse, not better.

On the other hand, couples who treat each other with respect in the middle of conflict stand a much better chance of healing their marriage. They're more likely to resolve the issue they're facing now, and they put themselves in a better position to handle disagreements down the road.

So, I'd tell your son and his bride-to-be: when we face a serious life challenge -- and we all do -- the goal isn't to just correct the problem by any means necessary. How we resolve it is just as important. We'll either act in a way that enhances our character or in a way that diminishes it.

Q: My kids often go along with whatever their friends do, even if it involves making poor choices. How can I help them resist peer pressure?

Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: Many children and teens are driven by perceived pressure to be noticed or to feel normal around others. This desire to fit in is a powerful motivator and can lead to kids making harmful or dangerous decisions.

Here are six ideas for helping children develop resistance to peer pressure:

1. Offer genuine affirmation. Help your son discover his true strengths. Encourage him when he fails and cheer him on when he bounces back.

2. Listen closely. Your daughter may say, "I need a smartphone," but she might really mean, "I just want to belong and feel normal."

3. Empathize and teach them how to cope. Many teens make peer-pressured decisions to (for example) smoke, vape or use drugs because they are stressed, and they want to be accepted. Help your child learn that everyone has insecurities and desires acceptance from others. Teach healthy ways to deal with stress.

4. Make time for relationship and conversation. Parents might assume that if kids aren't talking, or they prefer to be with friends, they don't want their parents in their life anymore. Research shows that's just not true.

5. Help them pursue growth, not good feelings. Over the years I've told clients if they want to feel good, they should see a massage therapist. If they want to grow, they'll have to make choices that may not be comfortable. This applies to grown-ups as well as kids.

6. Teach them to apply positive peer pressure. Help your kids take notice of peers who need kindness and affirmation. Show them how to build others up by encouraging them. Kids can become highly motivated to do this when they realize they can have a positive influence on others.

For more tips, see FocusOnTheFamily.com/Parenting.

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2025 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.