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New Beau Shares Health Issues

Harriette Cole on

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in my 70s and have been single for about 20 years. I am a vibrant woman, and I have wanted to be in a relationship for some time. A few months ago, I started dating a nice guy who is about 15 years younger than me. We get along great for the most part, but recently he revealed he has a lot of health issues. I think he had hidden them from me because he thought I might run for the hills. Now that he is beginning to manage them, I see that dating him is a lot. He may end up needing what amounts to a nurse, except he won't get one, so it may turn out to be me. I didn't sign up for all of this in such a new relationship. Should I jump ship now? I like him, but I already nursed my former husband. I can't do it again. -- Drawing the Line

DEAR DRAWING THE LINE: Evaluate where you are in this new relationship and what you can honestly handle. Also consider what you want to do. You have been single for a long time. A consequence of being alone can be loneliness -- though not necessarily. For being in a relationship, a consequence is having to deal with the other person's stuff. You have to decide if this guy is worth it for you to be willing to be there for him in all the ways he may need. You aren't married to him. Pause and consider if the notion of "for better or worse, in sickness and in health" resonates with you. If not, step off now. Don't lead him on. Give him space to figure out how he will navigate his health challenges without you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son often answers questions with questions. He seems to be in a constant state of confusion. I want him to be more definitive and show signs of initiative and comprehension. How can I help him be more concise and direct? I want him to be more confident in himself. I know it may sound judgmental, but I believe as he continues to grow as a student and as a professional, his need for others to constantly reassure him and clarify will be perceived as an impediment or a lack of initiative. Sometimes I ask simple yes-or-no questions, and he'll ask me to clarify. I completely understand the importance of inquisition and the value of curiosity, but I also notice how quickly some people become impatient with him. I don't want to make my son self-conscious, so I try not to pressure him about it, but I do worry. What can he do to become a more confident speaker, and how can I help? -- Too Many Questions

DEAR TOO MANY QUESTIONS: Have your son evaluated to see if he has any developmental delays. He could be asking so many questions because he honestly does not understand. Find out and address his situation accordingly. A therapist may be helpful in drawing out his thoughts, needs and desires and helping him cultivate strategies for engaging with others.

 

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole


COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.

 

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