Godson Being Pursued By Much Older Woman
DEAR HARRIETTE: My godson is 22 years old -- soon to be a college graduate beginning his life as an adult. He confides in me about his life, including his dating life. He told me that he is being courted by a woman who is 20 years older than him. She is attractive and has a good job, but I think that's too old. He's just starting his life. This woman is settled, but I also learned that she wants to have a child. She's on the edge of not being able to since she's in her 40s, but she has asked him to try with her. I am appalled. Why should a young man who is just beginning his life want to make that decision? He should be free to explore. What can I say to him to wake him up? He is completely mesmerized by this woman. -- Baby No
DEAR BABY NO: Ask your godson practical questions. What does he want to do when he graduates from college? Job? Career? Location? What are his dreams, and how does he envision manifesting them? Can he see himself with a child now? Can he afford to take care of a child? Does he want to? Would he feel comfortable fathering a child and not caring for it, just giving it to her? How does he see the future of this relationship?
Get him to think as soberly as possible. This may help to wake him up. The woman in question sounds desperate and territorial. Do your best to get him to consider his future and recognize that he is in control of it. He should not give that away.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents live in a two-story beautiful home, but they are too old to do the upkeep themselves. They can't afford to hire people, so I have to help them with things like yardwork and daily chores. I am their only daughter, so all this additional work falls on me. I also have a family and house of my own to care for, so my parents' house has become a huge stressor for me. I've suggested that they consider downsizing to a smaller single-level home or even a senior living community where maintenance would be handled for them. Every time I bring it up, they shut down the conversation. They say they're not ready, that moving would be too stressful or that I'm trying to push them out of their own home. I'm starting to feel resentful, and I hate admitting that. I love my parents and want to support them, but I also feel overwhelmed and stretched thin. How do I convince them that the right choice for all of us is for them to move out of their house? -- Parents in Need
DEAR PARENTS IN NEED: Talk to your parents about a timeline for transition. Lay out the facts: Their house has become too much to maintain, and they are going to have to move. Make that as concrete of an idea as you can. Begin to talk about the move as a fact. Talk about what downsizing will look like, what needs to be sold or given away and where they might live. Start painting pictures of the future to help them get used to it. Do the research to learn what's available, and take them on visits to see places. Ease them into the idea.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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