Life Advice
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Making Peace Without Answers
Dear Annie: My husband hasn't heard a word from his mother in over 20 years -- not even after the deaths of two of her sons. She's now 94, and we recently heard she's still alive, still isolated, and still unwilling to speak to him or anyone else in the family.
It breaks my heart. I remember the early years of our marriage -- sending her ...Read more
Millennial Life: Tugging at the Same Roots
I waited to return her call until I had all the information I could get. Unfortunately, the ultimate why for the destruction of the trees was beyond my reach.
She left a message in a resigned panic. She couldn't stop those cutting down the old mesquite trees, even though she tried to reach out to the postmaster at two of the post offices in ...Read more

Asking Eric: Infidelity makes wedding weekend an awkward affair
Dear Eric: It has recently come to light that the father of my goddaughter has been cheating on his wife for almost the entirety of their 30-year marriage. For some reason, the wife has decided to stay with this man. My goddaughter’s destination wedding is coming up soon. I don’t want to be in a room with this man, let alone hug or converse ...Read more
The Quiet Signs of Emotional Abuse
Dear Annie: My mom and I read your column every day, and we always find your advice thoughtful and compassionate. Lately, I've been thinking about something I witnessed years ago while working in a shelter for abused women. It's stayed with me -- the way emotional abuse often begins so subtly, with little comments that chip away at someone's ...Read more

Asking Eric: Young brothers’ skirmish takes an extreme turn
Dear Eric: I have two boys ages 8 and 13. In most cases the sibling rivalry is about the same as any other family.
One late evening, I picked them up at the dance studio and we came home. Everyone was tired (especially ME!) and so they decided to hit the sack. Around 10, I thought I heard muffled whimpering and screeching. Thinking I was just ...Read more
I Left, but Still Want Clarity
Dear Annie: I'm struggling to make sense of this situation, but it felt like a red flag.
I started dating a man, and one night out to dinner, we ran into a woman he knew from college and her boyfriend. She seemed nice, and after a brief chat, they left. He briefly told me about her business, I said she seemed cool, and I thought nothing more ...Read more

Asking Eric: Coworker’s oversharing derails workday
Dear Eric: I love my job but there is another employee there who likes to confide their life stories with me. It makes me upset and uncomfortable. I am a very compassionate person, but these stories are sad and depressing, which upsets my workday.
I try only to listen and not give any feedback. They also have asked for information on how to ...Read more
Running on Empty From Pleasing Everyone Else
Dear Annie: I've always been a people-pleaser, and it's wearing me down. My boss, "Mark," constantly asks me to take on extra tasks because he knows I won't say no. Last week, I stayed late three nights in a row to finish a project that wasn't even mine. And it's not just at work, either. My roommate "Rachel" is constantly asking for favors (...Read more

Asking Eric: ‘Pushy’ in-laws take over family gathering
Dear Eric: Recently, it was “assumed” by my husband’s family that we would host a gathering for some out-of-town relatives. We have a better house for entertaining. Everyone brought a side dish, or dessert. I usually have at least one gathering a year for his family. I’m happy to do it. We have a nice dining room, but our table was not ...Read more
Feeling Second Best to His Mother
Dear Annie: I'm struggling with my mother-in-law, "Linda," and it's starting to cause tension in my marriage. My husband, "Jake," is an only child, and they have always been very, very close. At first, I thought it was sweet, but I've come to realize that when Linda and I have a difference of opinion, Jake will always be Team Linda.
Last week...Read more
Single File: Men and Meltdown
Terrorized by the possibility of being pulled back into the mire of second-class personhood, women these days have put men on trial. It's not usually a conscious decision, more like a self-defensive reflex, and it masquerades as snide criticism, sharp-tongued retorts and guilt-inducing comments. Anything and everything to put him on the ...Read more

It costs nothing to be kind
Technology makes people flakier. It’s a sad truth. People can hide behind a screen without seeing someone else’s reaction to their words… or non-words, as is sometimes the case with ghosting. That’s not to say that all people are unreliable or flaky or rude, of course. In fact, most people are not. But the few who are set a negative tone...Read more

Asking Eric: Friend’s cheating ex moves into neighborhood with new wife
Dear Eric: For more than five years I have been having a single friend and her two kids over to dinner weekly. This started after her philandering, narcissistic husband, who had been having an affair while she was nearing term with a difficult pregnancy and hospitalized, left her for the other woman while my friend was on maternity leave with ...Read more
Need Ways To Support My Grieving Mother
Dear Annie: My mom, "Janet," lost her husband -- my dad -- almost three years ago after 45 years of marriage. Their relationship was strong, full of love, laughter and quiet routines. His death was sudden, and it shattered her world. Since then, she's been living alone in the house they shared, and despite gentle encouragement, she refuses to ...Read more

Ask Anna: Why won't my girlfriend wear the jewelry I buy her?
Dear Anna,
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for almost 10 months now. I frequently buy her jewelry and sometimes clothing, but she never wears them when we're together. Sometimes I'll ask for photos of her wearing the pieces to see how they look, and she will send one, but I never see them in person. Is this a me problem? Why doesn't she ever ...Read more

Asking Eric: Mother-in-law thinks wife has duty to make dinner
Dear Eric: My son is married; his wife is the chief breadwinner. They keep their finances separate; he pays half of everything, even though it is a real stretch for him.
After she had the baby, she wanted to return to her "pre-baby weight," so she signed up for this expensive diet plan where all the food comes semi-premade in a box. My son has ...Read more
Is It Rude To Recline Your Seat on an Airplane?
Dear Annie: On a recent cross-country flight, I had an uncomfortable experience that left me wondering about basic airplane etiquette. I was seated in coach, where space is already tight, when the person in front of me reclined their seat all the way back -- immediately after takeoff, without a word. Suddenly, my tray table was inches from my ...Read more

Asking Eric: After an affair, ex wants to tell former wife’s family the truth
Dear Eric: Many years ago, I was married to a woman who, after we divorced, admitted she cheated on me with a married man. She asked for forgiveness, and I took her back.
Nevertheless, it didn't work out and, fortunately, we didn't have kids, so it was easy to finally get out of the situation. I'm happily married now, and I hear she is too.
I ...Read more
Beware of Medical Conditions Causing Personality Changes
Dear Annie: A few years ago, my husband -- always kind, patient and gentle throughout our nearly 40-year marriage -- began behaving in ways that shocked me. He became verbally cruel, aggressive, and would erupt in sudden fits of rage over seemingly nothing. It escalated to the point where he threw a plastic water bottle at me and threatened to...Read more
Millennial Life: The Kids Are Not All Right ... but They Might Be Right
You know that line from "The Avengers," where Bruce Banner turns to Captain America and says, "That's my secret, Cap: I'm always angry"? I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Because I think that's where the youth are now. And as a middle-aged youth, that's where I still am, too.
After a youth shooting, our city is about to have a series ...Read more
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